Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Wishy-Washy Big Scienceists

The other day, I was looking at the Christian blogs or watching the CBN news, and someone mentioned some "new finding" in Big Science. Funny how with all those "new findings," they never seem to find Christ Jesus. I mean, he's only everywhere and in everything. You'd think with all their microscopes they'd be able to find the tiny universe-making angels, and with all their telescopes, they'd be able to see all the people up in Heaven looking down through us to laugh at all the people down in Hell.

By the way, I remember hearing that one group of Big Scienceists dug a really deep hole and dropped a microphone down into it (so they're stupid and careless!), and they recorded the sounds of Hell! And that's how they invented Rock Music (aka The Devil's Playlist).

Anyway, it seems like every time I look at Conspiracy-controlled Mass Media, and even good Real True Christian media, they're talking about some "new finding" in Big Science, and how all the Big Scienceists are "baffled" or "perplexed" or "bemused" by it. I just don't know how you could go around being "baffled" all the time, especially when you could have perfect certainty if you just accepted Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior. Then again, Athiests and Big Scienceists are so dumb that they'd probably be just as "baffled" anyway. "Duh, what do I have to do to get to Heaven? Duh, why do bad things happen to good people? Duh, what happens to people who die without getting the chance to know about Jesus?" I've even heard some so-called Christians asking those stupid Athiest questions; they might as well just tell the truth and call themselves Athiests!

And then those Fake Christian Athiest Big Scienceists could go around talking about how baffled they are because some "new finding" made Big Science change its mind. Big Scienceists, remember, are being deceived by the Devil, Satan, once called Lucifer the Morningstar, the Prince of Lies, and we all know that lies don't have to be consistent. The Adversary is always changing the way he deceives his followers, and so they always have to keep changing what they say is "true," which is easy for them because they believe in nothing. We True Christians, on the other hand, must always be totally consistent in what we believe, because God is infinite and eternal and perfect and never changes His mind.

Case in point: Back before Christopher Columbus found God's Chosen Continent, Big Scienceists said the world was flat, as evidenced by all the square globes and rectangular maps. Even then, Real True Christians understood that the circle was God's perfect shape, and in three dimensions (one for each member of the Holy Trinity--the whole of Creation proclaims the truth of the Bible!) a circle is a sphere, so Christians knew that the Earth (and all the other planets) must have been a perfect sphere. Eventually the Truth of this basic fact became too obvious for even those Satan-deceived Big Scienceists to deny, so Big Science changed its mind and started making globes in God's perfect Trinitarian shape.
This is the greatest weakness of Big Science: they're always changing their minds, changing their beliefs, changing their "theories"--it's no wonder they're always so confused and baffled! The more they have to change, the less consistent their beliefs are, and the more their fairy tales and fables fall apart. The Truth of Christianity is shown by the certainty it provides True Christians--only the One True God could grant the serenity of perfect certainty!

So next time you hear that Big Scienceists are "baffled" or have some "new finding," remember that it means they've changed their minds again, in response to the whims of the Great Deceiver. The sinful world may change, and Big Science may "progress," but Christians are the same now as they were two thousand years ago. Let everyone else bend to the whims of sin, I'm happy living in 33 Anno Domini.

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