Wishy-Washy Big Scienceists

The other day, I was looking at the Christian blogs or watching the CBN news, and someone mentioned some "new finding" in Big Science. Funny how with all those "new findings," they never seem to find Christ Jesus. I mean, he's only everywhere and in everything. You'd think with all their microscopes they'd be able to find the tiny universe-making angels, and with all their telescopes, they'd be able to see all the people up in Heaven looking down through us to laugh at all the people down in Hell.

By the way, I remember hearing that one group of Big Scienceists dug a really deep hole and dropped a microphone down into it (so they're stupid and careless!), and they recorded the sounds of Hell! And that's how they invented Rock Music (aka The Devil's Playlist).

Anyway, it seems like every time I look at Conspiracy-controlled Mass Media, and even good Real True Christian media, they're talking about some "new finding" in Big Science, and how all the Big Scienceists are "baffled" or "perplexed" or "bemused" by it. I just don't know how you could go around being "baffled" all the time, especially when you could have perfect certainty if you just accepted Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior. Then again, Athiests and Big Scienceists are so dumb that they'd probably be just as "baffled" anyway. "Duh, what do I have to do to get to Heaven? Duh, why do bad things happen to good people? Duh, what happens to people who die without getting the chance to know about Jesus?" I've even heard some so-called Christians asking those stupid Athiest questions; they might as well just tell the truth and call themselves Athiests!

And then those Fake Christian Athiest Big Scienceists could go around talking about how baffled they are because some "new finding" made Big Science change its mind. Big Scienceists, remember, are being deceived by the Devil, Satan, once called Lucifer the Morningstar, the Prince of Lies, and we all know that lies don't have to be consistent. The Adversary is always changing the way he deceives his followers, and so they always have to keep changing what they say is "true," which is easy for them because they believe in nothing. We True Christians, on the other hand, must always be totally consistent in what we believe, because God is infinite and eternal and perfect and never changes His mind.

Case in point: Back before Christopher Columbus found God's Chosen Continent, Big Scienceists said the world was flat, as evidenced by all the square globes and rectangular maps. Even then, Real True Christians understood that the circle was God's perfect shape, and in three dimensions (one for each member of the Holy Trinity--the whole of Creation proclaims the truth of the Bible!) a circle is a sphere, so Christians knew that the Earth (and all the other planets) must have been a perfect sphere. Eventually the Truth of this basic fact became too obvious for even those Satan-deceived Big Scienceists to deny, so Big Science changed its mind and started making globes in God's perfect Trinitarian shape.
This is the greatest weakness of Big Science: they're always changing their minds, changing their beliefs, changing their "theories"--it's no wonder they're always so confused and baffled! The more they have to change, the less consistent their beliefs are, and the more their fairy tales and fables fall apart. The Truth of Christianity is shown by the certainty it provides True Christians--only the One True God could grant the serenity of perfect certainty!

So next time you hear that Big Scienceists are "baffled" or have some "new finding," remember that it means they've changed their minds again, in response to the whims of the Great Deceiver. The sinful world may change, and Big Science may "progress," but Christians are the same now as they were two thousand years ago. Let everyone else bend to the whims of sin, I'm happy living in 33 Anno Domini.

More Comforting Thoughts

Sometimes children ask me what an Athiest is, usually around a campfire at a Jesus Camp, and I lean in close and tell them the Truth: an Athiest is someone who believes that there's nothing. Usually the kids laugh, especially when I explain the rest: "but then, the nothing decides to evolve!" I never get much farther than that, because usually some of the kids have laughed so hard that they're experiencing the Holy Spirit and the rest of us have to make them bite down on something. But I could definitely go on.

See, you can tell an Athiest how silly it is to have evidence, but you can't make them think. Let's face it, they're dumb--that's why they believe in nothing, because it's so easy to think about nothing. I know if I had the choice, I'd think about nothing too, but I believe in God, and that's better than nothing.

If I were ever able to read off the rest of my notecards, I'd tell the kids that Athiests believe that one day, nothing decided to evolve into something, and so there was a sudden explosion, and nothing became something. But then, that something had to go find a girl something so they could make more things. I can't imagine how much Holy Spirit would fill the kids if I got this far--I mean, imagine two nothings deciding to evolve into something, but one chooses to be a boy something and the other chooses to be a girl something, all at the same time--and Athiests think this happened by random chance! How ridiculous!

But anyway, Athiests believe that nothing evolved into something, which then evolved into everything. Somewhere along the way, every thing decided "I want to evolve into something new," and so every little atom evolved an eye (because half of one would be no good), then a fin, then hair, then maybe another eye, and this goes on for hundreds and hundreds of years, until every atom has decided to evolve new bits onto itself. I don't understand how any of this is supposed to work; I've tried concentrating really hard many times and deciding to evolve new body parts--like extra hands, so I can always be praying, or extra eyes so I can keep better watch for the Second Coming of Christ Jesus, or skin that's made of gold and diamonds--but even with the help of all the magic universe-making angels, I can't seem to evolve at all! You'd think the Athiests would see this as a flaw in their beliefs.

Anyway, after everything decides to evolve into some new thing, it has to find something else that decided to evolve into some other new thing, but a new girl thing, or otherwise it'll go extinct. This is why Athiests think the dinosaurs died out, because all the dinosaurs were boy dinosaurs, and none of them could cook or clean dishes, so they all starved to death. This is where the Athiest belief falls apart (again), because what happened to the dinosaurs would happen to every new animal! I mean, who would choose to evolve into a girl? If a dinosaur said "I want to be a girl dinosaur," its dad would beat it with a belt and tell it never to say that again, because that kind of talk would make it into a weak fairy sissy and not a Godly grown-up man. There'd never be any girls!

But there are girls, so either a bunch of really stupid dinosaurs said "I want to evolve into something weak and emotional that has to stay silent and have a man for a head, and I want to get rid of these really cool sharp teeth and claws because they would make it hard to cook and clean," or Athiest evolution is a silly, stupid lie. I think we all know which one of those is true.

I mean, how can you believe that everything comes from a boy-something and a girl-something getting together when all of creation cries out "Jesus!"?

"Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned"

The title is a joke, you know. I wouldn't want you all to think that I'd gone all Catholic on you or anything. I'd never join those false-prophet Pope-worshippers. I mean, I could see where one of us Godly Protestants might get confused about who we worship because our cross necklaces don't have anyone hanging on them (because HE IS RISEN INDEED!), but those Catholics have Jesus right their around their necks! They can see pretty clearly that Jesus isn't wearing a dress or a giant pointy hat like he's the HomoSINual Queen of Drag, so it's not like the Pope looks anything like him--how do you get confused about which one to worship? And when the Pope dies, like that one a few years ago, they just replace him with a new Pope! How ridiculous! When Jesus died, we Godly Protestants didn't just replace him with another Jesus by voting on smoke colors! That's why it's obvious that Protestants are the Real True Christians; they replaced Jesus with the Pope, and then with a bunch more Popes, and we just follow Jesus, living or dead (but HE IS ALIVE INDEED!).

And don't get me started on their thing with the Virgin Mary. If they weren't so obsessed with virgins, maybe they wouldn't have so many sex scandals.

I said (jokingly) in the title that I'd sinned, which ought to be obvious. We're all sinners, and we've all sinned, and because I don't worship the HomoPope, I can't just go into a port-a-potty next to a man in a dress and have him tell me to write Jesus's name on a blackboard ten times for forgiveness. Only Jesus can forgive, and I'm not perfect, just forgiven, by Jesus, because He's the only one who can forgive.

But I am sorry to all of you for being gone so long. The last time I posted, I realized it was International Athiests Day, or April 1st, because as Psm. 53:1 says, "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God." Once again, the Athiests have shown how dumb they are, and how true the Bible is, by declaring their international holiday on April Fools' Day. I mean, don't they realize that they're just telling us that they're all fools? And thus, that the Bible is true, because the Bible also tells us that they're all fools? It's amazing the way God works, revealing the Truth of His existence even in the actions of those who try to deny Him.

Realizing the majesty of that Truth made me decide to rededicate myself to the Lord, and so I put away worldly things like my computer and started reading the Bible again. I focused and prayed and concentrated on God's presence in my life, and the fleece of this fallen world fell away from my eyes! I started seeing signs everywhere, even more than I used to! I was seeing God in the clouds, in the trees, even in oil-slicks on the pavement, and it reminded me that God is everywhere, even inside you and me!

And that's why in May, I realized that God was sending me a sign (from inside me!) when I heard that some Activist Judges in Californi(cation)a were redefining marriage to give special super-rights to the Sodomites and Gamorrettes. I was immediately afraid for my marriage; I'm not married yet, but my future wife is out there somewhere, and in God's eyes, we're already married. That's why it's adultery to look at women with lust: you're cheating on the woman you're already married to in God's eyes! I wasn't about to let some Activist Judges and Sodomites threaten my marriage before it even started for me, so I packed up and went out to Californi(cation)a to start protesting like no one had ever protested before!

I stayed in Californi(cation)a for as long as I could, even after those drag-worshipping Catholics and crazy Mormonists started protesting too. You wouldn't believe how many signs I had to make after that started--I had to not only protest the Sodomites and Gamorrettes, but also the Pope-worshippers and the weirdos who wear golden underwear!

I'm glad to say, though, that God won out (as He always does and always will!). Sure, the heathen Mormonists took credit for it, but I know that the One True God was working through me and the other Real True Christians who were protesting and supporting His Holy Proposition who actually made sure that God's definition of "marriage" stayed intact. Unfortunately, I fear that some damage was done by those long months of unholy redefinition. I can't imagine how many True Christian Marriages failed because men and women suddenly realized that they could give in to those universal burning desires that are only restrained by the force of God's Holy Definitions and choose to commit homosex. Those desires are burning for a reason, Christians--they come from Satan, who probes each of us with his unholy, burning fingers!

That brings us to the election in November. I was torn--obviously I couldn't vote for the baby-killing Muslim Athiest who wasn't even born! But after Holy Huckabee was defeated by the forces of Heathen Math, I didn't have many choices. I liked Ron Paul's stance against baby-killing and the Most Important Right (From my Cold Dead Hands!!), but I didn't think his other supporters were passionate enough, and I didn't like that he was a "doctor" of Athiest Allopathy. I've never liked John McCain, but he seemed like the only choice left. Unfortunately, he went and chose that woman Mrs. Todd Palin for his Vice President, and I don't like the idea of having a woman in that kind of power position. The Holy Bible is very clear on the matter of women in power: "But I suffer not the woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence" (1 Tim. 2:14). I don't see how Mrs. Todd Palin could be properly subordinate to her husband if she were second-in-command of our One Nation Under God.

Plus, John McCain is very old and God could take him at any moment, which would mean that Mrs. Todd Palin would become President! Now, she seemed like a good Christian, so maybe she would have recognized her place and realized that she needed a man for her head (1 Cor. 11:3) and would have stepped aside to let the Speaker of the House take over, or maybe the Presidency would have passed to Mr. Todd Palin, but I can't be sure. I think the idea of having President Mrs. Todd Palin trying to teach good Godly men and refusing to be silent is too scary to be allowed.

So, I figured if the Godless Athiests could nominate a non-citizen like The Muslim, good Godly Christians could vote for another non-citizen, so I wrote in my candidate: Christ Jesus of Nazareth. He may not have been born in our One Nation Under God, but since He's everywhere, it means we were born in Him.

Unfortunately, America refused to restore Christ Jesus to His rightful place at the head of the country, and instead installed a non-citizen Athiest Muslim. I felt the sudden urge to run away, to leave this nation that was clearly no longer under the One True God.

But God spoke to me again, and reminded me that this was His blessed land, and that the other countries lay in the darkness of Athiest Satanism, so I really had nowhere to go. I organized protests, but eventually The Muslim's Christian persecution machine rolled into effect. I found myself followed by cars everywhere I went. The forces of Satan's Evil Conspiracy are Legion, masquerading as all sorts of different people, but I knew who they worked for! I hid myself away, praying in closets and under bushels in fear that the Bilderbergs would come any day to take me away to The Muslim's Gulags for worshipping the One True God. It's only because of my careful preparations, with my generator and canned goods and dehydrated food all made by Good Christian Survivalists, that I was able to survive for months in seclusion.

But Glory Alleluia! God dealt a deadly blow to the moneylenders and the carriagebuilders who had invaded the Holy Temple of America, and so The Muslim is forced to divert his efforts to shoring up Lucifer's failing conspiracy. I thought that would make this the best time to come out of hiding and return to spreading the Word of the One True God to a world that so desperately needs it.

So I beg forgiveness (from God, because only He can give it!) for the sin of omission, omitting posts for so many months, from a world of Athiests and "Skeptics" who so desperately need to hear it, and Christians who need to be reminded of the One Way to Heaven. I hope you'll join me!

Also, I'm pretty sure I wore some mixed fabrics. I need forgiveness for that, too.

Skeptripe #9: "Quote-Mine"

Welcome back to "Skeptripe," where I expose words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid.

Sometimes "Skeptics" will accuse their opponents of using "Quote-Mines," which are little quotes so potent that they explode the "Skeptic's" argument, like a mine on a battlefield. "Skeptics" claim that this is some kind of dirty, dishonest trick, but what else do you expect from whiny liberal peaceniks?

The best way to avoid being whined at like this is to just not use any quotes anywhere, but sometimes you can't avoid it. My only usual exception is with quotes from the Bible: I hope that if I use enough Bible quotes, exposing the "Skeptic" Athiests to God's Holy Word a little at a time, the Holy Spirit will build up in their hearts until eventually it'll be too much for even them to deny. It hasn't happened yet, but I have Faith that it still might.

Anyway, "Skeptics" who complain about quote mines usually talk about how the words are taken out of context, or how they don't mean what we say they mean. This is obviously absurd: words have specific definitions that were made by God and written in His Divine Dictionary on our hearts. The meanings of words don't change, regardless of what other words are around them. I can go to any passage of the Bible, pick out any string of words, and find that it means the same thing as it does when I read the whole chapter, and it's just as profound. I'd be tempted to say that "Skeptics" just don't understand how reading works, but I think it just relates back to their fears. They're afraid of their Athiest and Big Scienceist heroes being Godly men, or showing that Athiesm is stupid, so they claim we're taking those people's anti-Athiest quotes out of context, and that they actually meant something else. The "Skeptics" are afraid of looking stupid and silly, so they lie about us misrepresenting their arguments. They're afraid to admit that we're right, so they try to mangle God's words to mean other things.

"Skeptics" live their whole lives in fear because they don't have God to rely on. So next time a "Skeptic" accuses you of using "Quote-Mines," just imagine them as they are: a scared, sad little Athiest trapped in the middle of a minefield, shivering and hoping no one hears them praying. There are no Athiests in foxholes, whether on the battlefield, or on the blogosphere.

Skeptripe #8: "Null Hypothesis"

Welcome back to "Skeptripe," where I expose words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid.

Athiests and Big Scienceists often pull out the "Null Hypothesis," usually with reference to "Occam's Razor." What it means is that they start off any study assuming that whatever their opponent talks about doesn't exist. They claim that it's a fundamental idea in reason, but I think it really just exposes the Godless Athiestic (lack of) values at the heart of Big Science.

What it boils down to is that, if you tell an Athiest Big Scienceist something, their first instinct is to not believe you. I know, I know, Athiests not believing something--shocking, right? I don't know about you, but I trust people. If you tell me something, I tend to believe you, unless I find out that you're bearing false witness.

But Athiests don't have that kind of Faith, in God or their fellow people. They know that, since they don't believe in God, they're all liars, so they assume everyone else lies all the time too. Their first reaction to any person is to assume that that person is just as sad, pathetic, and depraved as they are. I guess if they realized that the rest of us were good people, destined for Heaven and the glory of God, they'd probably be even more depressed.

The "Null Hypothesis" isn't Science, it isn't reason, it's just more Athiest depression and depravity.

Expelled!

Who else is looking forward to "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed"? I can't wait until it hits the theaters. So far there haven't been any screenings in my area, and despite lots of prayer and concentration, I haven't been sent an invitation like the other people who have been able to see it so far.

The movie stars Ben Stein, who I think is smart and funny. I love him on those Visine commercials, and the speeches he wrote for Richard Nixon were just beautiful and brilliant. I know he's in some movies, but most of them are too secular for my taste, so it'll be nice to see him in a film that promotes a Godly message. I do have some problems with him, though, but I'll get to that later.

"Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed" is all about exposing the Truth behind the Athiest Big Science conspiracy to keep Intelligent Design out of the schools and laboratories. I think it's great that someone is finally making sure that Christians aren't oppressed here in our One Nation Under God.

Now, I don't entirely agree with the Intelligent Design people; too many of them are willing to accept silly things like a universe that's billions of years old, or that some evolution happens in nature, but their heads are in the right place. If they succeed, then maybe real Creationists will be able to finally bring God back into the classroom where He belongs, and our schools can be good and Christian once again.

The film apparently talks about how Darwinism leads directly to Nazism, and I'm glad someone finally has the courage to tell that truth. Sure, the Holocaust is probably way overexaggerated (6 million? That sounds like a Darwinist number to me), but the Nazis were still terrible Athiests and did horrible things in the name of No God.

This, though, is where my problem with Ben Stein comes in. See, Stein is a Jew, which means he doesn't accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. I'm not sure why the Intelligent Design people, who are all Christians, would want a Jewish person narrating their film and spreading the Holocaust exaggeration. I think they must have put him in there to keep the Bilderbergs and World Bankers from teaming up with the secularist Athiests and shutting the movie down.

Or maybe Ben Stein is one of the righteous Jews who will get to go up to Heaven when Christ returns! Oh, I hadn't thought of that before. Still, he really should convert to Christianity and let Jesus into his heart, just in case.

Overall, I'm really looking forward to seeing this movie finally tell the Truth about the Big Science lies and the false religion of Athiest Darwinism.

On a side note, Evil Athiest Blogger PZ Mayers tried to sneak into a showing of "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed," but the producers threw him out. I guess he was making a scene, threatening good Christians and telling them lies about his Athiest religion. That was pretty dumb, since he was trying to be sneaky--he shouldn't have called attention to himself, then he could have seen the Truth about Darwinism and converted in the theater.
Athiest Pope Richard Dawkins did get to see the movie though, which I guess means he was using Athiest witchcraft to get past the producers. Too bad he didn't convert--imagine what the Athiests would do if their Pope suddenly found Jesus! They'd have to follow him too and become Christians!

Skeptripe #7: "Theory"

Welcome back to "Skeptripe," where I expose words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid.

"Theory" is one of those words that "Skeptics" just love to redefine. I mean, we all know what "theory" means. Like all words, its meaning was written by God on our hearts at Babel thousands of years ago; God doesn't change and neither do His definitions. When I say "I have a theory about what "Way of the Master" will be about this week," it doesn't mean "I did years of experiments and found fossils and lied and faked a bunch of things" like "Skeptics" want you to think it does. It means "I'm totally guessing, and this is pure speculation." It's not something I pretend to be sure of; if I watch WOTM and it's nothing like my theory, then I'm going to shrug and say "well, it was just a theory."

Contrast that with the kind of certainty you feel when reading the Bible or listening to a sermon or hearing the Voice of the Holy Spirit. You know that those things are true, because you feel it in your heart. When you make up a theory about what's going to be on your favorite TV show or which car is going to win the Nascar race, you don't have that knowledge in your heart, you just have a guess in your head, and you know it could be totally wrong.

Well, Athiest Big Scienceists and "Skeptics" don't believe in the Bible or the Holy Spirit, so they never get to feel that from-the-heart certainty. All they have is their head-guesses--their "theories"--so they have to pretend that those theories are more than just pure speculation. When you call them on it, on redefining the word "theory," they always get so upset--and why not? You're trying to take away the only thing they have left, this pretend certainty that they try to have in place of real Godly confidence. You really have to pity a mind so fragile that it would cling to such a flimsy delusion instead of looking at the real world.

In any case, don't pull any punches. If you take away the security blanket they hide under, exposing them to the full and awesome glory of Almighty God and his Absolute Truth, maybe they'll actually see the light.

Or maybe, like all such things, they'll hiss and skitter back into the darkness. But you have to try; it's your God-given duty.

Skeptripe #6: "Occam's Razor"

Welcome back to "Skeptripe," where I expose words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid.

"Skeptics" love to pull out "Occam's Razor" as if it's their John 3:16. The principle says that "the simplest answer is always the right one." This might seem strange to you, given what you likely already know about "Skeptics." I mean, when have you ever heard a "Skeptic" give a simple answer to anything? "Evolution is the process of how fish came from rocks and mud and..." and that's about when I fall asleep. Obviously the simplest answer is always "God." I don't know why "Skeptics" don't understand that.

But I do know why "Skeptics" like this "simplest answer" stuff: they're dumb. They like to look smart, to use big words and long sentences, but they just can't understand anything particularly complex. It's part of why they don't believe in God--they can't understand Him, so they just say He doesn't exist.

If you encounter this "Occam's Razor" in argument, just remind the "Skeptics" which answers are the really "simple" ones. "God" vs. "evolution by natural selection and..."--one word with three letters, or a whole paragraph of big made-up Science words, which is simpler? "Government Conspiracy" vs. "a decentralized Islamic terrorist organization who infiltrated the country..."--yes, "government conspiracy" is pretty long and has a bunch of syllables, but it's still simpler than their answer. "The Bible says so" vs. "there's no such thing as absolute morals and so we can make them up ourselves"--it should be obvious by now.

"Occam's Razor" is just like the "Skeptics" who love it so much: dull, blunt, and disposable.

Those poor kids

Not being content just to find new ways to murder innocent babies before they're born, Big Science has been trying to ruin the lives of living children too. They've been injecting a deadly substance called "mercury" into little kids for years now, and finally some good Christian whistleblowers are coming out against the Big Scienceists and exposing this terrible fraud.

Mercury is a silver liquid (Big Scienceists call it a metal, but everyone knows that metals are hard and strong, not liquidy) that can cause brain damage and death if you're exposed to it! Mercury, as you might recognize, is the name of one of the other planets that revolves around the Earth. This is because, while Big Science and NASA (Nazi Athiest Scienceist Alliance) were faking the Moon Landing on an underground soundstage, the Shadow Government was sending probes and robots to the other planets to collect alien materials for their terrible experiments. One of these probes brought mercury back from the planet Mercury, and that's where the whole mess started.

Those of you who went to a Godless public school might remember that Mercury is also the name of a false pagan god. It's no secret that aliens have visited Earth many times over the last 6,000 years; naturally some of them have been worshipped by foolish people who were drawn away from the One True God. One or more aliens from Mercury must have visited Ancient Rome and been worshipped as gods.

That's right, the same Ancient Romans who tried and crucified Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Is it any wonder that they were unable to see the Messiah right in front of their faces? They had been poisoned with the worship of Mercury, the Mercurians had damaged their brains just as mercury today damages the brains of defenseless little babies!

So, how does this all tie together? It has to do with Quantum Physics, which I talked about here. I mentioned there that the universe is full of tiny invisible angels, who do God's work for him. When we concentrate on these angels, they re-make the universe for each of us. At least, that's what's supposed to happen, what happens in a normal human being. But when you inject a baby with mercury, with an alien chemical soaked with false pagan religion, it traps all the little invisible angels that are in the baby's body, so they can't get out and communicate with the ones outside in the universe. What happens then is that as the baby grows up, it tries to concentrate and create its own universe like everyone else, but the angels inside can't get out, so they create that universe inside the child's mind! The child's personal reality is disconnected from God's reality, even though the child's body is still in God's reality! Big Scienceists call this "autism," but it's really an artificial spiritual separation from God.

It's easy enough to see why Athiestic Big Scienceists would do this: when they kill babies in the womb, those babies' souls go straight to Heaven. That upsets the Athiests, because they know they aren't going to Heaven, and they want everyone to be just as miserable as they are. So they invented a way to keep children from knowing God and making their own realities without killing them. They spend years in this fallen, sinful world, not knowing God's Love, committing sins they don't even know about because they're trapped in the worlds in their own heads.

I will never understand how the Athiest mind works, that they could inflict this sort of suffering on innocent children. What terrible, terrible people.

Comforting Thoughts

If you die tonight, did you know you're going to Hell? Unless you're a good person, which you aren't. Because if you've ever told a lie, that means that you never tell the truth, and that's against the Ninth Commandment. And if you've ever stolen something, that makes you a kleptomaniac.

Jesus said that if you look at a woman with lust in your heart, then that's the same as murder, because you're imagining making a baby with her and that baby will never be born, just like an aborted one.

Have you ever taken the Lord's Name in vain, like as a curse word? That's blasphemy, and it's against the Third Commandment, and God says that anyone who breaks any of the Ten Commandments is going to go to Hell. You're a liar and a kleptomaniac and a murderer and a blasphemer, and that means you deserve to go to Hell.

But I'm a Firefighter, and so I'm going to put out the fires of Hell that are in your soul right now. I know you might not believe in God, and so I'm going to prove it to you, without ever using the Bible to do it.

First, like I said, there's the Ten Commandments. I'm doing this from memory, so I'm not using the Bible. The First Commandment says that Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me (and by "Me" I mean "God," not "me"), which proves that God exists, or else how could he have said that? Do you think someone just pretended to be God and said "Don't worship other Gods before me?" Maybe the false gods in those pagan religions, but not here, this is the real God.

Anyway, how can you look outside and not see God? I mean, I look at a building, and I know that there had to be a God. And I look at a painting, and it tells me that God exists. Lots of paintings tell that God exists, especially "The Last Supper" and Michealangelo's "Sixteenth Chapel." Did you know that God made soda cans?

I don't have enough faith to be an Athiest. I mean, I have a lot of faith, but I can't imagine looking right at God and saying "I don't believe in You and I hate You." What if God started crying, then, because you'd hurt Him so badly? Then you'd feel pretty bad about not believing in Him, I bet.

Athiests have to think they know everything, but only God knows everything, so Athiests all think they're Gods. I'd like to see an Athiest create the universe. Tell me this, Mr. Athiest: what number am I thinking of? See, you don't know everything. Athiests are just a kind of Agnostic, and I think that means they're Russians.

"The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God." Psm. 53:1

Athiests believe in evolution, even though they've never seen a cat give birth to a dog, which is what evolution is about. They tell Christians that they're silly for believing things they've never seen, but at least we only believe 6,000 years of things on faith, Athiests believe in billions and billions of years on faith, all going back to a big explosion at the beginning of time. Somehow, all the animals and plants on Earth and all the planets and stars in the universe came out of that explosion. Well, I've seen explosions before, and I've never seen a duck or a crocodile or a star come out of one, just fire and smoke.

And tell me: if the universe began with an explosion, who lit the match? God, that's who.

See, when you believe in God, it's like you're jumping out of an airplane. You see the plane, and you know the plane was built in an airplane factory, and you know the factory has people in it, and those people were built by God, so you know there's a God. But you're falling down, and if you hit the ground, you die and go to Hell. So you have to pray and believe in God, and that's like having a bungee cord. No matter how close you come to Hell, God will cause you to bounce back up to Heaven.

All you have to do is trust in your emotions, circumcise your intellect, and look at the world around you. Look at the beautiful sunsets and the beaches and the palm trees and the bananas, look at the buildings and the paintings and the cars, look at all the people, from the tiniest pygmies to the biggest basketball players. How could all that happen without God?

A Dangerous Alternative

In our One Nation Under God, it's becoming more and more popular for people to seek healing from Alternative Medicine practitioners, such as homeopaths, naturopaths, reikipaths, acupuncturists, and chiromancers. When I first heard about these new possibilities, I was thrilled--anything to keep people from giving money and support to Big Science's pharmaceutical companies and its Athiest agenda to outlaw religion and lead souls away from God.

But then I found out the terrible secret of Alternative Medicine: it's just as Athiestic as Big Science! Those Athiests are everywhere these days! They have a great little conspiracy going: they run Big Science and Big Medicine, so when people go to those places, the Athiest agenda gets the money. Then they take a bunch of magic practices and voodoo from the Godless Communists in China and Japan and use it to create "Alternative Medicine," to catch the people too smart to fall for their first agenda. It's a big Athiest conspiracy to trick the sick and weak out of their money so they can use it to try to kill God.

But, you may ask, don't Alternative Medicine practices work? Absolutely, as certainly as any other Godless witchcraft. For instance, when you go in for acupuncture, they claim to be using special needles to manipulate Chi energy to make you well. And when you leave, you feel better. But here's what really happens: they use those needles to tap into your spiritual energy and draw it out of you! That energy comes from God Himself; these evil witch-doctors are taking away bits of your immortal God-given soul!

You might think that losing part of your soul would hurt, but that's just not the case. Just ask any Athiest--losing your soul makes you feel numb and cold inside, and it makes you feel free--like you could commit any sin and not have to worry about God's Divine Judgment. Of course you feel better; the numbness dulls the pain you went in to get cured, and the mistaken feeling of freedom keeps you from noticing what just happened. If you go through a particularly long or intense session, you might even be tempted to commit a few sins on the way home!

They only take out a little, so you don't get the effect as bad as Athiests do, but that's all part of the Athiests' evil plan. After a few days, the pain you originally felt comes back, and with it is the new pain of being separated from God. So you go back to the acupuncturist, and get more of your soul taken out, which repeats the cycle! Since they only do it a little at a time, you could continue this for years, losing bits of your soul to Athiests, all the while continuing a downward trend into sin and depravity. Do you see how the evil Athiest conspiracy works?

Thank God there's an alternative to Athiest Alternative Medicine. Just as you already know to look for a good Christian doctor when you look for real medicine--one who doesn't murder babies and give out condoms and lollipops to grade school kids--you can also find good Christian Alternative Medicine people. Not just Faith Healers either, though they're always a good idea. There are plenty of Good Christian Acupuncturists who will use their needles to help focus God's breath of life into healing you, Good Christian Naturopaths who use God's own Created Herbs and Plants to heal you, and Good Christian Homeopaths who only use Holy Water with prayers on the bottles, so the water absorbs the healing power of the Almighty.

So be careful when you seek healing from sinful humans; always remember that God is the greatest healer, the only one you can really trust.

Those Stupid Athiests

I just found this video today, and it's amazing how it exposes the Athiest Big Science Conspiracy in a fun way. Those silly athiests, though, they think it's all a big joke! They're posting this on all their websites, not even realizing that it shows how the Communist Athiest Big Science Conspiracy works! They think they're so smart, but this is all part of God's Grand Plan: the Athiests make themselves look stupid, and that will drive everyone back to His Loving Arms.

Skeptripe #2: "Quantum Physics"

"I think I can safely say that nobody understands Quantum Mechanics."--Richard Feynman, Athiest Physicist.

Welcome back to "Skeptripe," where I expose words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid.

Today, we're tackling "Quantum Physics," which is a subject that some "Skeptics" and Big Scienceists like to pretend they know a lot about. Well, as the quote above says (probably taken from that Athiest Big Scienceist in a moment when he was compelled by the Holy Spirit to tell the truth for once), nobody actually understands Quantum Physics, except God.

Taking a moment here, look at how Feynman said it; he called it "Quantum Mechanics," not "Quantum Physics"! Not only don't they know what it is, they don't even know what name they made up for it!

But the real reason he uses the word "Mechanics" is because Athiests think the universe is a big machine, which breaks down in places. They don't see the obvious--that a machine needs a machine builder--and so they use made-up Science things to try to fix the places where the machine breaks down. Of course, that's not something science can do; God built the machine and only God can fix it. That's what miracles and "mutations" are: God giving the machine of the universe a tune-up!

Anyway, what Athiest Big Scienceists have discovered on with Quantum Physics is the way God created the universe. That's why they can't understand it--man cannot know the mind of God, or the toolbox he used to make everything! So they try to invent things like extra dimensions (I guess "Sliders" is science fact now) and tiny invisible quirks and strings and cells to explain it all and fix the breakdowns, but if they had FAITH they'd know that all those invisible things are actually God's Angels, working to separate the universe machine from the void waters (Gen. 1:2, what Big Scienceists call dark matter) and sin that gunk it up.

But even though we can't understand Quantum Physics doesn't mean we can't use it. God made us in His Holy Image, and so we can use the same tools He used to create the universe ourselves. It's like when a baby gets into his dad's toolbox and finds a hammer. He doesn't know how to use it, but he can still hit things with it, and that's what hammers are for. We can do the same thing with Quantum Physics: we don't know how it works, but we can use it to create our own little universes in the big universe that God made! All you have to do is concentrate really hard.

Concentrating is basically just like praying, except you don't have to put your hands together or say Amen at the end. When you pray for things, sometimes God doesn't hear you, or He doesn't want to do those things for you, because he's too busy doing other things in the universe, like teaching all the poor aborted baby souls how to walk and talk in Heaven so they can get around like all the other souls. So, he put his tiny invisible angels in the universe to do work for him. Quantum Physics is when you concentrate, and the angels hear you and remake the universe the way you want them to; it keeps God from having to do it Himself! How convenient!

So, remember when "Skeptics" tell you that you're wrong about Quantum Physics that what Quantum Physics really says is that none of us can know anything (Uncertainty) unless God tells it to us. So, really, they're the ones who are wrong, because they say they understand it and that there's only one right answer, and they don't even believe in God! And then you can just concentrate and make your own universe without stupid "Skeptics."