Happy Our Day!

Hello to all my fellow heathens and sinners and sodomites! I'm coming back from my blog mission to tell you all why I was gone for so long: It's because now I'm an ATHIEST! That's right, now I am worshipping myself and also Pope Dick Dawkings and Saint Christy Hitchins, because I no longer have the morals or the senses God gave me. The Holy Spirit has left me and hardened my heart, and now I am going to fill my empty life with murder and sodomy! Also, I think I am going to get my doctorate in God-Denying and Darwinism at Ivory Tower University, so I can be part of the Big Scienceist Elite! So goodbye everyone, I'm not going to blog here anymore, because now I'm going to write for a big Athiest blog network to get lots of fame and money! Because I'm a BIG ATHIEST! (If you're confused or sad, check the date--and come back tomorrow!)

Expelled!

Who else is looking forward to "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed"? I can't wait until it hits the theaters. So far there haven't been any screenings in my area, and despite lots of prayer and concentration, I haven't been sent an invitation like the other people who have been able to see it so far.

The movie stars Ben Stein, who I think is smart and funny. I love him on those Visine commercials, and the speeches he wrote for Richard Nixon were just beautiful and brilliant. I know he's in some movies, but most of them are too secular for my taste, so it'll be nice to see him in a film that promotes a Godly message. I do have some problems with him, though, but I'll get to that later.

"Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed" is all about exposing the Truth behind the Athiest Big Science conspiracy to keep Intelligent Design out of the schools and laboratories. I think it's great that someone is finally making sure that Christians aren't oppressed here in our One Nation Under God.

Now, I don't entirely agree with the Intelligent Design people; too many of them are willing to accept silly things like a universe that's billions of years old, or that some evolution happens in nature, but their heads are in the right place. If they succeed, then maybe real Creationists will be able to finally bring God back into the classroom where He belongs, and our schools can be good and Christian once again.

The film apparently talks about how Darwinism leads directly to Nazism, and I'm glad someone finally has the courage to tell that truth. Sure, the Holocaust is probably way overexaggerated (6 million? That sounds like a Darwinist number to me), but the Nazis were still terrible Athiests and did horrible things in the name of No God.

This, though, is where my problem with Ben Stein comes in. See, Stein is a Jew, which means he doesn't accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. I'm not sure why the Intelligent Design people, who are all Christians, would want a Jewish person narrating their film and spreading the Holocaust exaggeration. I think they must have put him in there to keep the Bilderbergs and World Bankers from teaming up with the secularist Athiests and shutting the movie down.

Or maybe Ben Stein is one of the righteous Jews who will get to go up to Heaven when Christ returns! Oh, I hadn't thought of that before. Still, he really should convert to Christianity and let Jesus into his heart, just in case.

Overall, I'm really looking forward to seeing this movie finally tell the Truth about the Big Science lies and the false religion of Athiest Darwinism.

On a side note, Evil Athiest Blogger PZ Mayers tried to sneak into a showing of "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed," but the producers threw him out. I guess he was making a scene, threatening good Christians and telling them lies about his Athiest religion. That was pretty dumb, since he was trying to be sneaky--he shouldn't have called attention to himself, then he could have seen the Truth about Darwinism and converted in the theater.
Athiest Pope Richard Dawkins did get to see the movie though, which I guess means he was using Athiest witchcraft to get past the producers. Too bad he didn't convert--imagine what the Athiests would do if their Pope suddenly found Jesus! They'd have to follow him too and become Christians!

Skeptripe #6: "Occam's Razor"

Welcome back to "Skeptripe," where I expose words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid.

"Skeptics" love to pull out "Occam's Razor" as if it's their John 3:16. The principle says that "the simplest answer is always the right one." This might seem strange to you, given what you likely already know about "Skeptics." I mean, when have you ever heard a "Skeptic" give a simple answer to anything? "Evolution is the process of how fish came from rocks and mud and..." and that's about when I fall asleep. Obviously the simplest answer is always "God." I don't know why "Skeptics" don't understand that.

But I do know why "Skeptics" like this "simplest answer" stuff: they're dumb. They like to look smart, to use big words and long sentences, but they just can't understand anything particularly complex. It's part of why they don't believe in God--they can't understand Him, so they just say He doesn't exist.

If you encounter this "Occam's Razor" in argument, just remind the "Skeptics" which answers are the really "simple" ones. "God" vs. "evolution by natural selection and..."--one word with three letters, or a whole paragraph of big made-up Science words, which is simpler? "Government Conspiracy" vs. "a decentralized Islamic terrorist organization who infiltrated the country..."--yes, "government conspiracy" is pretty long and has a bunch of syllables, but it's still simpler than their answer. "The Bible says so" vs. "there's no such thing as absolute morals and so we can make them up ourselves"--it should be obvious by now.

"Occam's Razor" is just like the "Skeptics" who love it so much: dull, blunt, and disposable.

Comforting Thoughts

If you die tonight, did you know you're going to Hell? Unless you're a good person, which you aren't. Because if you've ever told a lie, that means that you never tell the truth, and that's against the Ninth Commandment. And if you've ever stolen something, that makes you a kleptomaniac.

Jesus said that if you look at a woman with lust in your heart, then that's the same as murder, because you're imagining making a baby with her and that baby will never be born, just like an aborted one.

Have you ever taken the Lord's Name in vain, like as a curse word? That's blasphemy, and it's against the Third Commandment, and God says that anyone who breaks any of the Ten Commandments is going to go to Hell. You're a liar and a kleptomaniac and a murderer and a blasphemer, and that means you deserve to go to Hell.

But I'm a Firefighter, and so I'm going to put out the fires of Hell that are in your soul right now. I know you might not believe in God, and so I'm going to prove it to you, without ever using the Bible to do it.

First, like I said, there's the Ten Commandments. I'm doing this from memory, so I'm not using the Bible. The First Commandment says that Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me (and by "Me" I mean "God," not "me"), which proves that God exists, or else how could he have said that? Do you think someone just pretended to be God and said "Don't worship other Gods before me?" Maybe the false gods in those pagan religions, but not here, this is the real God.

Anyway, how can you look outside and not see God? I mean, I look at a building, and I know that there had to be a God. And I look at a painting, and it tells me that God exists. Lots of paintings tell that God exists, especially "The Last Supper" and Michealangelo's "Sixteenth Chapel." Did you know that God made soda cans?

I don't have enough faith to be an Athiest. I mean, I have a lot of faith, but I can't imagine looking right at God and saying "I don't believe in You and I hate You." What if God started crying, then, because you'd hurt Him so badly? Then you'd feel pretty bad about not believing in Him, I bet.

Athiests have to think they know everything, but only God knows everything, so Athiests all think they're Gods. I'd like to see an Athiest create the universe. Tell me this, Mr. Athiest: what number am I thinking of? See, you don't know everything. Athiests are just a kind of Agnostic, and I think that means they're Russians.

"The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God." Psm. 53:1

Athiests believe in evolution, even though they've never seen a cat give birth to a dog, which is what evolution is about. They tell Christians that they're silly for believing things they've never seen, but at least we only believe 6,000 years of things on faith, Athiests believe in billions and billions of years on faith, all going back to a big explosion at the beginning of time. Somehow, all the animals and plants on Earth and all the planets and stars in the universe came out of that explosion. Well, I've seen explosions before, and I've never seen a duck or a crocodile or a star come out of one, just fire and smoke.

And tell me: if the universe began with an explosion, who lit the match? God, that's who.

See, when you believe in God, it's like you're jumping out of an airplane. You see the plane, and you know the plane was built in an airplane factory, and you know the factory has people in it, and those people were built by God, so you know there's a God. But you're falling down, and if you hit the ground, you die and go to Hell. So you have to pray and believe in God, and that's like having a bungee cord. No matter how close you come to Hell, God will cause you to bounce back up to Heaven.

All you have to do is trust in your emotions, circumcise your intellect, and look at the world around you. Look at the beautiful sunsets and the beaches and the palm trees and the bananas, look at the buildings and the paintings and the cars, look at all the people, from the tiniest pygmies to the biggest basketball players. How could all that happen without God?

Skeptripe #3: "Straw Man"

Welcome back to "Skeptripe," where I expose words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid.

"Skeptics" like to accuse their opponents of using "Straw Man Arguments." They say that we're arguing against an easy target, but it really isn't our fault that they're such terrible debaters.

Seriously, though, what the "Skeptics" find so hard to understand is that we aren't arguing against a "Straw Man," we're simplifying their arguments. "Skeptics" like to pretend that they're smarter than everyone else, so they write long, rambling arguments where they over-explain everything in complicated language. By using these unfamiliar terms and long paragraphs, they hope to confuse their opponents. That way, when they're backed into a corner, they can always say "you're using a "Straw Man," this is what I was really saying!" It's a cheap stunt, but it might fool naive opponents who are arguing with "Skeptics" for the first time.

"Skeptics" like to pad out their arguments in a couple of major ways:

1. Defining things: "Skeptics" like to give definitions for random words and terms in their arguments. This takes up lots of space, and is clearly an attempt to talk down to their opponents. As if we don't know what the words mean! But more than that, "Skeptics" like to redefine words to mean things that help them make their arguments, rather than using the definitions that God gave those words at the Tower of Babel. You can just ignore these passages, though you might want to tell the "Skeptics" that you aren't falling for their stupid re-definitions.
   
2. Examples: "Skeptics" love to make up stories to help support their points--that should be obvious, why else would most of them believe in evolution? They spin out long "hypothetical" fables about fictional people or fantasy animals, or they explain long examples that supposedly support their points. More often than not, these stories are totally fictional. How can a fictional story help their point? The answer: it can't. These are just distractions, and you can skip right over them.
   
3. Quotes and Links: If there's anything "Skeptics" love more than telling stories, it's talking about their "sources." They'll throw out link after link, long quotation after long quotation, all in an effort to pad out their argument and make them look smarter. The truth is, anyone can find anything to support them online; if I don't believe one "Skeptic's" story, why would I believe the story of some other "Skeptic" on some other site? If you were to click and read every link and quote in a "Skeptic's" post, you'd be gone for hours, reading more and more bloated arguments that go nowhere. Just ignore any links or quoted bits of text, and whatever you do, never listen to the "Skeptics" who try to get you to give links and quotes like them. Once again, they're just trying to distract you, so they don't risk being convinced by your arguments.

The best thing to remember when dealing with these "Skeptics" is to have faith in yourself. Your first impression of their arguments is usually the right one, and just ignore them when they try to tell you that you're "misrepresenting" or "misinterpreting" what they said. When you stick to your guns and never waver, they'll just get more and more angry that you aren't falling for their tricks. Eventually they'll snap, and you can just sit back and declare victory.

"Skeptics" like to think they're smart, but just like another "Straw Man," they're all in need of a brain.

Those Stupid Athiests

I just found this video today, and it's amazing how it exposes the Athiest Big Science Conspiracy in a fun way. Those silly athiests, though, they think it's all a big joke! They're posting this on all their websites, not even realizing that it shows how the Communist Athiest Big Science Conspiracy works! They think they're so smart, but this is all part of God's Grand Plan: the Athiests make themselves look stupid, and that will drive everyone back to His Loving Arms.

Skeptripe #1: "Evidence"

Welcome to "Skeptripe," a series of articles I'll be running to deal with words and phrases used by so-called "Skeptics" and Athiests that are overused, misused, or just plain stupid. Because we've all been in conversations with "Skeptics" who were just plain stupid, talking about things like they couldn't just see the truth, written on the face of the world by the Almighty.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Today, we're going to start with the word "evidence." Chances are, if you get into a conversation with a "Skeptic," this is going to come up pretty early. "Skeptics" like to talk about "evidence" as if they're trying to convert you to some crazy religion, where you worship "evidence" and pray at an altar of "proof" and sacrifice "facts" to the great heathen god of "evidence" and everything is all just based on "evidence." They're like, two steps away from having books and pamphlets explaining the "good news" of how important evidence is and why you should believe it.

But then, that's something that you never really hear "Skeptics" talking about--why should you believe evidence? "Skeptics" never seem to realize that "evidence" is a totally arbitrary and unreliable standard for believing things! For one thing, they can't even get the definition straight. I was talking to some nut the other day who was towing the "party line" on LCD (Loose Change Day--9/11/01 Never Forget!), saying that the "airplane parts" and "charred bodies" at the Pentagon were "evidence" that an airplane, not a missile, hit the building. But then the next day I was talking to a Darwinist who said that "homogamous features" and "vertical organs" were "evidence" that animals evolved, and weren't created by a loving and wonderful God. Well, which is it, "Skeptics" and Darwinist Athiests? Is "evidence" airplane parts, or is it vertical organs? It can't be both!

You can see why they aren't consistent, though. If they were, they'd have to admit that because there are no "airplane parts" in the human eye, then it must have been created by the Lord God Almighty.

Besides that, "Skeptics" don't seem to understand that "evidence" can be faked! They just dismiss the things that can't be faked, like eyewitnesses and feelings and faith. It would be so easy for the Government to fill a missile with a bunch of airplane parts and burnt bodies, then shoot it into the Pentagon. But they can't fill it with eyewitnesses! It would be easy for God to make fake "homogamous features" in animals to test our faith, but He can't just make new human witnesses, because they wouldn't have any sin, and we'd notice that they were naked and glowing and didn't die!

But feelings can't be faked--have you ever seen someone pretend like they're angry or happy or surprised? You can tell! And faith can't be faked, because faith comes from inside me, and from God, and God can't like, and I know I'm not lying, so it must be true!

For "Skeptics," "evidence" is god. Me, I'd rather trust people (who can't be faked) and the REAL God!